I am NOT my Hair!

Hey Y’all. 

I know it has been a while since I posted on my blog. Life got in my way. But I am baaaaaccccckkkk!

I have totally cut all of my hair off 3 times in my adult life and I feel each of them marked a huge point in my life that would change me in a drastic way forever. 

The first time was when I had my first child. The second time was when my husband, at the time, walked out of my life. This third time marks a new beginning and the last step to officially closing the last book before this new book I’m living now.

All three times, I just woke up one day and said to myself it’s time. Most of the time I do not even talk about it with my friends and family, except to say I am going to do it. There are no ‘what do you think?’ questions that I ask to those close to me like I often do before making a big decision. It is just something inside of me that happens and explodes in the form of a haircut!. 

For me, when I cut all of my hair off it is the start of something new and me wanting to start fresh with a clean slate, time for renewal and growth. But also it is tied to the obvious, not wanting to spend so much time and money on taking care of my hair.

When my daughter was born, I just remember thinking this is a new life that did not ask to be here and I am totally responsible for her. I was just a senior in college, no job and thinking I would be selfish to take all that money to spend on my hair. In addition, I would not have time between being a full time student trying to graduate from college and a mother of a newborn baby. Oh and don’t forget, I would be a new Mom so I do not even know what I am doing. So the big chop took place and I never regretted it. 

The next time was the separation. You all already know that story. If not read https://www.kaevonlyte.com/post/the-closet. I just felt like for this instance, it was a Waiting to Exhale, the movie, moment. My Shero, Angela Bassett who plays Bernie, cut all of her hair off after her husband, John left her for another woman. My Ex always loved the long hair or weave and he absolutely hated me with short haircuts. So I was spiteful but also I felt like I needed a new start; start fresh and breathe. Even though this didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted and I did not wear the short hair for long without starting to wear the weaves and braids again, in that moment, I felt great!

This time it is so many different things. It’s been 5 years that I have been rooming with my mother (out of necessity). I have NEVER lived alone, NEVER had my own place, just me. It has been one of my final goals to feel like I am a real adult again and finally all the way through the separation/divorce storm. I finally moved into my own spot, my home, my apartment, K. Lyte’s Place and I love it!  Cutting my hair this time was like cutting off all of the dead weight of the separation and the divorce. It reinforced the growth in myself. That I have to love me. It’s about what is best for me and not looking for anyone else to validate me.

In this society, short hair on women is tough and not favored. Natural hair is even tougher. At least, honestly speaking, that’s how I felt. But once I did it and now that I’m walking in it, I feel so bold and strong! Beautiful and unstoppable! 45 and Fine! Plus Rona made me face the reality that I needed to take better care of my natural hair!

Follow me on my journey of soul searching through learning to love my God given hair! 

P. S. I will still rock my braids and weave once and a while! 😎

Your Girl,

K. Lyte